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Hallia

Watching 'Valar Morghulis' with my Dad

Dad: Isn't that Wee Man?
Me: Excuse me?
Dad: The little guy who was on Jackass. That's him right?
Me: NO.
Later
Dad: That girl's boobies are hanging out.
Me: They are not even.
Dad: I thought these were medieval times, why is she dressed like that?
Me: She's trying to make seducey-times with the king.
Dad: I don't like the king. He looks like Malfoy.
Me: He basically is Malfoy, but a million times worse.
Dad: I think he's a little shit.
Me: So does the internet.
Dad: The internet is right. King Little Shit: that's his name now.
Later
Dad: Who's the guy in the hoodie?
Me: That's Lord Varys.
Ros: *grabs for Varys's non-existant junk*
Varys: *makes a sassy face*
Dad: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Later
Theon: I'll kill that hornblowing cunt!
Dad: Is that a vuvuzela?
Later
Dad: Who's the blonde guy?
Me: That's Brienne of Tarth, she isn't a guy.
Dad: Who's that short ugly guy?
Me: That is Jaime Lannister, Little King Shit's uncle-father. He was held prisoner by Robb Stark but his mother Lady Stark sent Brienne to take Jaime back to King's Landing and exchange him for her two daughters. And he's not ugly! I mean, not on the outside. Inside he is actually very horrible.
Brienne: *beats seven shades of shit out of the Stark soldiers*
Dad: HAHAHAHA! That was righteous! Roll it back, I wanna watch the ass-whupping again.
Brienne: *beats seven shades of shit out of the Stark soldiers*
Dad: I like that badass blonde guy.
Me: Brienne is a woman.
Dad: A badass woman! She's my favorite.
Me: Mine too.
Dad: ...What did you mean 'uncle-father'?
Later
Dad: SWEET JESUS WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS.
Me: White Walkers. They're kind of like snow zombies.
Dad: THEY ARE SO FUCKED.
Me: Who?
Dad: THOSE GOTH KIDS IN THE FUR COATS.
Me: Those are the brothers of the Night's Watch. And yeah, they're pretty fucked.
Dad: ...Can you rewind it so I can watch Brienne again?

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Reposted fromlmn lmn viagameofthrones gameofthrones

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